Losing Myself
by JojoBlond
Summary: Rogue's POV. I can’t control the voices, its almost getting the point where they’re free all the time. I’m starting to forget who I am.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men Evolution. Just the plot line. Ok?

I'm cursed.

That's all there is to know. I was given a curse in life, and I have to deal with it. I've accepted that and have moved on.

But what is my blight? Poison skin that hurts anyone who touches me. I found that out at the worst possible time back home in Mississippi, and have felt the burden of it on my shoulders ever since. I can't get close to people. As much as I want to, I can't. I don't want to hurt anybody. But every time I see people together, hugging, being close, my heart feels like it wants to rip apart. I want so much what they have. I want to be touched; to be close to someone. And then I get mad, knowing how much people take that freedom for granted. They can be close to people, and they do. But when they have fights, they yell and don't want to be anywhere near that person. Is that how they treat what they're given? How they treat their blessing? If I were them, I would apologize. If I ever told anyone that, no one would believe. That's because I stay mean, to keep people away. I just don't want to hurt anyone.

But Logan sees right through me. Maybe it's because he's the same way. He's cursed with an enemy named Sabertooth, who will use anything Logan has against him. In a way, Logan and I can relate because of what we both have.

But I also have something that Logan doesn't have: voices. I hear them in my head all the time, fighting, yelling for me to do something. I lock them away as best as I can, and just think for myself most of the time. But it's so hard. Every voice, every person, wants to take over. When I touch someone, a part of them stays inside me. And then they start fighting. Most times, I can't take it. I want them all to be gone, to leave me alone. But I can't get rid of them. And if I told anyone, then I would probably end up being sent to a mental hospital. I don't want that, especially since I haven't gone crazy. I'm just trying to live. But it's hard to do that when Magneto's voice is screaming for you to kill every human in sight, and then the voices start fighting. The headaches I get from them are unbearable, and plague me almost every day. Well, when I can't lock them away.

No one knows any of this, and I plan to keep it that way. But, deep down, I know that someone needs to know. But who? I'm not close to anyone. They would all think I'm mental. I don't want to tell Logan; I don't know how he would react. I can't tell Kitty, because she would get worried. Kurt…he would be the same way. But I need help. I can't control the voices, its almost getting the point where they're free all the time. I'm starting to forget who I am. Sometimes, I'm Kitty, flipping through magazines and looking for a cute pink top. Sometimes, I'm Jean, kind and understanding. But I almost can't control it anymore. I don't know what to do. Sometimes at night, when the voices go away, I want to break down and cry because I know I'm losing it. I'm losing the cool control I once had. I'm losing my mind. And I'm losing who I am.

I'm so scared. I'm afraid that one day, I might just completely lose my identity, giving in to the voices unwillingly. I'm afraid that I might kill every human, or attack Logan, or do something awful. I don't want that. I want to be who I am, without these damned voices.

But how? How can I do any of this? How can I keep going on, day by day, knowing that the voices may try to take control of me at any moment? How can I go on, afraid that I'll hurt someone? How can I stay isolated, when all I really need is someone to be close, to understand? How can I shed everything, exposing myself as who I really am? How can I make myself vulnerable, knowing that people can and will make fun of me? How can I just peel away all the toughened layers that protect me and allow people to scrutinize me?

More importantly, how can I allow someone to get close to me, and still keep them safe?

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Hey. Sorry this is so short, but in my Word document, its about two pages. Believe it or not. I'm hoping that the next chapters will be longer.

My third X-Men Evolution fic written. Tell me if you like it.

---Jojo---


	2. Indecision

Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men.  What I DO own is a very creative mind.  At least, I think so…

The day started like any other day.  I got out of bed, got ready for school.  I hate wearing long sleeve shirts, even in the summertime.  But I have to.  It's the only way to keep other people from touching me.  And if it keeps people safe, then it's worth it. 

Most people wouldn't believe that I'm so caring and protective.  That's only because I keep a hardened shell on, to keep people from getting to know me.  And that, again, is to keep people safe. 

Sometimes, I hate how caring I am.  If I weren't so self-sacrificing, or whatever you want to call it, then life would be a lot easier.  But at the same time, more complicated.  I don't know if that makes sense or not, but I don't care.  I'll just go on with my day and figure things out as I go.

Well, I went down to breakfast, only to find Scott and Jean talking, just like every other morning.  I had to keep myself calm at the sight.  I had a crush on Scott a while ago: a big one.  I wanted to be close to him, to let him in.  He was the only one.  But then, he didn't want me like I wanted him.  He wanted Jean, little Miss Perfect.  Everything she does is perfect in his eyes.  But me…well, let's just say I'm not as perfect as he'd like.  Yeah, we're friends.  But we aren't close.  More like acquaintances, I guess.  Sometimes, we'll go to the music store, or get some coffee, but nothing else.  Every time I see him, I try to forget how I felt a while ago.  But every time, I feel a burning inside me.  It's all because Jean takes everything I want.  She gets more than me.  And it's all because she does everything perfectly.

Well, I tried to ignore them and got myself a cup of orange juice, looking at the front page of the paper that Logan read.  Just garbage today.  Not worth reading.  Heck, I didn't know why Logan read it anyway.  Maybe it was just because his was part of his daily routine, and he didn't want to screw it up.  I don't know, but it didn't matter. 

Kurt appeared then, grabbing a blueberry muffin.  "Hey, Rogue," he greeted with a toothy grin.  He hadn't turned on his image inducer yet, but it didn't matter.  I was used to seeing him like this.  In fact, I liked it better than when he looked normal.  This way, he wasn't covering up who he was, like I do. 

I smiled.  "Hey," I replied, sipping my juice again. 

Kitty suddenly phased through the ceiling, landing on the floor beside me.  She grabbed a muffin, also, and promptly began munching on it. 

Scott came forward, offering to give us a ride to school.  Kurt, Kitty and I agreed, and then we piled into his car.  His precious cherry-red convertible.  I think it means more to him than anything else.  Well, except Jean.  Actually, I think they mean the same.  After all, they're both red and they're both PERFECT.  A match made in heaven. 

The ride to school was uneventful.  I sat on the right side, as far away as from Kitty as I could.  I didn't want to accidentally touch her.  Luckily, she didn't notice.  She and Kurt talked, leaving me to my own thoughts. 

I found myself thinking about that stupid Cajun.  The damned Swamp Rat who kidnapped me and took me to New Orleans to use for his own stupid reasons.  I still haven't forgiven him.  I don't like being used.  I haven't seen him in a while, something I'm eternally grateful for.  Whenever he sees me, he calls me names like "Chere" and other things.  And what I hate the most is that I usually have a hard time giving in to him.  Deep down, I love the attention I get.  But I hate where it's coming from. 

We made it to school, where I went through my classes, not really thinking about anything.  More than anything else, I was fighting the voices in my head.  Magneto wanted me to kill everyone in the room.  Scott and Jean wanted me to pay attention.  Kurt said that I should daydream.  Kitty wanted me to come to school in pink the next day.  Sabertooth said I should kill Wolverine.  Logan wanted me to pay attention.  Mystique wanted me to leave the X-Men.  Remy wanted me to look for him after school.  John said I should set fire to the school.  Piotr, Professor Xavier, Evan, Blob, Lance, Pietro, and Storm were all silent, but I knew they wouldn't be for long.  I tried to lock them up, eventually succeeding.  But afterward, I was mentally exhausted, and I wanted nothing more than to take a nap, which Remy and John quickly agreed to.  But I couldn't.  I made it through the day, walking home, only to find that we had a training session today.  I sighed, trying to come up with the amount of energy I would need to get through.  I quickly found it after drinking a quick cup of coffee and then hurrying down to the Danger Room, clad in my uniform. 

The Danger Room transformed into a forest, and we were all split apart.  We were supposed to find one another, surviving everything that happened.  Joy. 

I stepped through some trees hesitantly, looking around for anything that seemed remotely out of place.  When I found nothing, I slowly continued forward, leaves crunching beneath my black boots. My eyes darted around, searching for a teammate of mine.  I couldn't see anyone.  Suddenly, lasers rained down on me.  My brought my arms up to protect my head and quickly ducked behind a tree, glancing out to see a robot nearby.  I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out what to do.  I glanced down, hoping to see a rock that I could use.  I got lucky, finding one beside my foot.  I quickly picked it up and spared a glance at the android again.  It suddenly moved so that it could hit me, and that was when I threw my rock, hitting the camera.  I jumped up, grabbing a branch and swinging back and forth.  I launched myself towards the machine, landing on it and ripping out the laser gun and mechanical claws.  The robot began flying around, trying to shake me off.  I tightened my grip, holding on for dear life.  I found the control panel and ripped it open, grabbing and handful of wires and wrenching them through the opening. The machine jerked and then dropped to the ground, motionless.  I gasped for breath, thankful that I had taken care of that. 

That was when I heard the "bamf" behind me.  I whirled around, hoping that it was the person I that I thought it was. 

Kurt stood before me in all his furry glory, his hands up.  "Don't vorry, I von't attack," he said, a smile tugging at his lips. 

I nodded, and we continued through the forest.  We stumbled upon Kitty, who phased through another machine, and we hurried through the forest, quickly running into Scott and Jean.  That was when the session ended, and we were allowed to leave.  I trudged from the room, exhausted.  I wanted to go to sleep.  I could do that, too, but who knew if one of the voices would take control while I was asleep?  What would happen then? 

I went up to my room, resigning to take a nap.  I needed one.  The only thing I could do was pray to God that the voices stayed locked up. 

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I woke up two hours later, finding myself in my bedroom.  I glanced around.  Nothing was out of place.  The voices were still locked up.  Good, nothing had happened. 

Suddenly, all hell broke loose in my head.  Everyone was screaming for me to eat, to hurt someone, to set something on fire.  I groaned, feeling an instant headache.  "Shut up," I muttered.  The voices went silent, and I left for dinner.  Numerous options were set out, and the voices started up again, each yelling for me to eat something different.  I rubbed my temple, trying to shut them up and decide what _I_ wanted to eat. 

I couldn't decide.  I didn't know what I wanted to eat.  I couldn't remember what I would normally want.  My breathing quickened as panic arose in me.  Exactly what I had feared was happening.  I had tried to stop it, but it wasn't working.  Now, I didn't know what I was going to do. 

Kitty suddenly nudged me.  "Hey, Rogue, you okay?" she asked. 

I nodded slightly. 

"Well, try this.  It's really good," Kitty replied, handing me a casserole.

I didn't know what to do, so I took what she offered.  It wasn't that bad, but my taste buds told me it wasn't something I usually ate. 

That night, as I lay away in bed, I couldn't help but worry what would happen.  I couldn't lock up the voices for long periods of time anymore.  Either they were growing stronger, or I was growing weaker.  I didn't know what to do.  It was then that I realized that I needed to tell someone.  My stubborn side popped up, telling me that I could handle.  It wasn't made any easier by the contradicting voices in my head.  I groaned, and rolled over to sleep.  I would handle it tomorrow.  Or maybe the next day. 

But what if then was too late?

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Hey!  PLEASE, R&R! 

Press the little square button

---Jojo---


	3. The Best Day

Disclaimer: I don't own X-Men. Not now, not ever.

The moment I woke up, I wanted to go back to sleep. At least then the voices would shut up. But the instant I awoke, they all started shouting commands at me. I shoved them away to the back of my mind where their shouts were the quietest and went to take a shower.

After I had dressed, I successfully locked the voices away in my mind and went down to breakfast.

Professor Xavier was there today, watching all the students as if he were looking for something. Professor X is a great guy. He's been really nice to me, always trying to help. But sometimes, I wonder if he suspects anything. I wonder if he knows about the voices in my head, and how I'm having trouble with the control I have over them. But, if he knew, wouldn't he try to help? That's what he built this place for: to help kids with newfound powers. So, if he did know by now, he would help. But, how could he not know? He was the professor, the strongest telepath in the world. I was getting a headache from so much thinking, so I just gave it a rest. I said hello to a few people and grabbed a glass of orange juice, glancing once again at the front page of the newspaper that Logan was reading. He looked up and quickly returned to the paper, resigning to reading it like usual.

I was lucky today, seeing that I didn't have any school. I could focus on my immediate problems and try to solve them. I sipped my orange juice, glancing at the TV that was mounted on the wall. Nothing interesting. Man, today was boring.

_You could set something on fire,_ coaxed John's voice. I quickly shut him up, resigning to work out in the Danger Room. I felt Kitty tap me on my clothed shoulder.

"Hey, Rogue, do you, like, want to go to the mall with us?" she asked.

I did. I wanted to more than anything; even if Kitty would try and convince me to buy a bright color like pink. I wanted to hang out with friends and just be able to talk freely. But right now, the voices in my head were trying to break loose, and I had to quickly gain control over them. And deciding that felt like I was cutting myself off from the people I wanted to hang around more than anything.

I shook my head. "No, Ah think Ah'm going to work out today," I replied. It was lame, but it was the truth.

Kitty groaned. "Come on, Rogue. You have to get out sometime," she pleaded.

The voices in my head were starting to get louder, a sign that they were close to getting out of the cage I'd put them in. I shook my head. "Nah, maybe next time," I offered.

Kitty nodded, satisfied with my answer. She then left with Jean and dragged Kurt off, just to annoy him. Scott would probably go too, just because he was in love with Jean. The thought of those two in love made me want to throw up. Like I said before, they were a match made in heaven.

As soon as they were gone, I hurried off to the Danger Room, just after changing into my uniform. I set the program as one of Logan's and headed down.

As I dodged lasers, flying metal spikes, and titanium tentacles, the voices shut up. They all desperately want me to survive, to improve. And so they stopped talking, making it easier for me to concentrate. Nothing else matters. I can focus on improving and surviving more than if someone was talking. It's during these times that they are under my control. I can lock them up; I can focus on being myself.

I finished my workout an hour later, exhausted but pleased. I couldn't hear the voices, and I knew exactly who I was. There was nothing else that I needed at the moment. Well, maybe there was.

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One shower later, I found myself in the rec room, laughing with some of the younger students. They weren't half bad. Not as mature as me, but they were more fun. I guess if being immature meant you had enjoyed things more, then I would gladly be immature any day. We just hung out, saying stupid things, throwing popcorn at Bobby. I haven't had so much fun in a while. They saw a side of me that not even Kitty saw, and she was my closest friend.

Jaime walked in after our popcorn war, asking what was going on. I just smiled and ruffled his hair. Jaime gave me a smile. Only he knew that I had a soft side. He was like a little brother to everyone at the Institute. You couldn't help but open up to him.

Jaime grinned in reply and sat down on the couch next to Amara. We had a video game tournament that night, which I decided only to watch. I've never been good at it. I mean, Irene didn't exactly have any money for one when I lived with her. I wouldn't have wanted to play it, anyway. It was a mind-numbing experience back then. Now, it was a part of life.

As I watched everyone yell, bash, beat, and laugh at each other, my thoughts drifted off. Everything was quiet in my head. Silence. Today had been one of the best I'd had in a long time. Hardly any struggles with the voices. Phenominal. I just hoped that I would have more days like this. Where I could just let loose and show people a small glimpse of who I really am. Where I can hang out and have fun.

But deep down, I knew that wouldn't happen.

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Well, this chapter kinda sucked. I thought it was bad when I was writing it. The writing just doesn't sound good and its pretty short. Dang. Next chapter will be better. Promise.

Reviews:

o scorched eggy: Rogue and Wolverine are a lot alike and they're close without talking. They understand each other, though they'll never say it. Sword-slashing action?? YAY! It's like Pirates of the Carribean!

enchantedlight: thanks!

Ally: thanks! Uh…the wording was…not the best choice. I hope I'm keeping up with it. I'm trying. Tell me if I'm not or if I'm ever doing anything wrong.

piffluvsu: fire…hehe. Now to find my dad's lighter…that he hid…

Jade-eye-death: thank you!

Skye: thanks! Tell me if I'm ever doing a crappy job or anything.

Well, until next time…

---Jojo---


	4. Stars and Struggles

Disclaimer: If I owned X-Men Evolution, then I probably wouldn't be wondering who the heck the Misfits are, now would I?

Have you ever looked at the stars? They're gorgeous. The only speck of warm light in a cold, dark expanse. They contrast so much, and yet fit perfectly together. Their lives are simple: use up all the energy, become a supernova, then a black hole, and then "poof". They're done. I'm not sure if that's all true, but I could care less. It's all the same to me. Simplicity at it's best. They don't have to worry about anything. They just live out their lives peacefully, from beginning to end. No surprises along the way to throw anything off.

I wish my life was like theirs. No surprises, just beginning and end. If there were no surprises, then I wouldn't have this curse, or these damned voices.

I stretched slightly, the slick material of my windbreaker rubbing against the rough shingles on the roof of the Institute. It was probably around three in the morning, but I didn't care. I wanted to stay outside and stare at the stars. They were so many things: wonderful, simple, brilliant. I could only name a few. Whenever I needed help back in Mississippi, I would sit out on my rooftop and just stare at the stars, hoping to find my answers written in them. And that was exactly what I was doing now.

My questions were few, and quite simple. But the answers…I knew they would be complicated. I wanted to know exactly why I was given this power of mine, but at the same time, I didn't. I was afraid to know the answer. What if it was something vague and cliché like, "It's your destiny"? I couldn't handle that. I need plain, explanatory answers. Not a riddle.

I sat up, wrapping my arms around my legs and hugging my knees to my chest. The view of the city was amazing. Orange streetlamps stood at stationary points on streets, like soldiers ready to go into battle. Farther off, I could see a few stores signs, their neon lights blaring into the night sky.

I sighed, thinking. All my friends ran through my head, their smiling faces both calling out and mocking me. Kitty, with her shy and preppy disposition. Kurt, the funny guy. Scott, a.k.a Mr. Military. Jean, who just had to be little Miss Perfect. Evan, who had disappeared into the sewers a while ago to lead the Morlocks. Risty, my one true friend who understood me. Remy…wait, he wasn't a friend. That damn Cajun used me. He just wanted me there to fulfill his own agenda. But…I couldn't help myself thinking about him. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help but want to see him again. Before I had found out about who he really was, I had had a pretty good time with him. Ignoring the fact that he kidnapped me, of course.

I shook the thoughts from my head, thankful that the voices were still locked up. A small zephyr kicked up, making the already cool night colder. I pulled my jacket tighter around me, hoping to block out the chill. The wind brushed over the treetops, the branches swaying as if in time with a song. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of the cool wind against my neck.

It was a time like now that I wished someone would just pop up and offer to stay up here with me. But no one in his or her right mind would be up at this time of night. Oh, except me. I may have voices in my head, but I am not crazy.

"Well, Chere, what would y' be doing out here at dis time of night all alone?" asked a smooth voice behind me.

My heart stopped as I recognized the voice. I closed my eyes tightly, praying that it wasn't so. No, he couldn't be here. How'd he get past security? How could he know that I'd be out here at this exact time of night? How, on all of God's green earth, could it be possible?

"Y' going t' talk t' me?" he asked as he moved closer and sat down beside me.

I scooted away a few inches, glaring at the streetlights. I didn't want him here. I didn't want to talk to him. But, then again, hadn't I wanted this? Hadn't I wanted someone to show up to talk and spend time with me? Yes, but not _him._ But I just had to go and test Fate, hadn't I?

"C'mon, Chere, y' hurtin' Remy," he said, putting on a wounded look and holding a hand against his chest.

I rolled my eyes. "Then maybe ya'll leave," I shot back. I wanted him to leave. I wanted to be left alone. I was afraid that he would get me to show him who I really was. I only wanted my close friends to know; he didn't exactly classify as one. Still, I couldn't help but be elated that he had come out to be on the roof with me, no matter what his agenda this time.

Remy shot me a toothy grin that glowed in the moonlight. "Don't count on it," he replied.

I groaned. "What do ya want this time?" I demanded. I didn't know why he was here, and though I hated to admit it, I was curious as to why.

"I wanted t' see y'," he replied, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair away from my face. I instinctively reached up and slapped his hand away, staring at the lake, my breathing quickening with each rise and fall of my chest. I wanted to cry. I wanted him to be able to touch me and to be able to touch him, but I couldn't. And I hated the fact that I now pushed people away without a second thought. I had thought that I was able to choose when to, but I couldn't. It seemed like I was loosing control.

Remy seemed to sense how I felt. He set a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Chere," he said softly.

Tears filled my eyes, threatening to fall. No, I didn't want him to see. I didn't want to cry. But why didn't I want him to see me cry?

Remy scooted over closer to me. "P'tite, you can just cry," he whispered, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

I pushed him away and stood up, tears falling from my eyes. I turned to look at him, glaring intensely. I didn't want him to see me cry, to know how soft I was. I didn't want him to be here tonight.

"Go away," I whispered softly.

"Chere," he began, looking as if he was begging for forgiveness and an explanation.

"No," I interrupted. "Just leave meh alone! Go away!"

I felt it before I heard it. An intense throbbing in my head, followed by uncountable, screaming, conflicting voices, all fighting for my attention. No one shut up, they just kept screaming. The pain in my head increased, and I felt as if it would explode. I groaned and reached up to massage my temples, but with the slightest touch, my skin felt like it was on fire. I didn't know what was going on anymore, I was just trying to control the voices and see through the pain. Faintly, I heard Remy call my name. Suddenly, someone grabbed my wrist, shocking me back to reality. I found myself lying face down on the roof, ready to fall off. The only thing that stopped me was Remy.

"Hang on, Rogue. Remy's got y'," he said, his grip never loosening off my hand. My leather glove started to come off, exposing my white skin. My eyes widened and I jerked my hand out of Remy's grip, my glove staying with him. I stayed on the roof, miraculously not falling.

"P'tite, hold on! Remy'll get y'," he said.

I groaned. "Shut up," I hissed. "Ya'll wake up everyone else."

Remy nodded and extended his hand. "Give Remy your hand," he whispered.

I slowly extended my gloved hand, clasping mine in his. He pulled me back up with ease, setting me on the peak of the roof. I turned away from him. "Ya better leave," I muttered. "Security'll catch ya." I just didn't want him here anymore. This was supposed to be my time. And, the voices wouldn't shut up. I would only be able to deal with them if he was gone. Not to mention that I was embarrassed that he had helped me up. I should have been able to handle that myself.

He grinned. "Dey won't catch Remy," he replied.

I turned to him, my eyes now dry. "Leave, or Ah'll make ya," I threatened. I needed him gone.

Remy shook his head. "Dat's no way t' thank Remy fo' savin' y'," he said, shaking his head.

I rolled me eyes. "Thank ya, now leave," I hissed, shoving him with my elbow.

He shrugged. "Fine. But Remy'll see y' later, Chere," he replied, rising and finally leaving me alone.

I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that he was gone. I needed my peace and quiet to lock up the voices. But try as hard as I could, there was no shutting them up. I couldn't do it. It was getting worse, and I knew it. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I knew that I had to do something soon.

_Don't worry about it,_ whispered a voice. Vaguely, I knew it was a voice in my head, but the fact didn't register in my mind until much later, as sleep deprivation hit me hard then. The only thing I wanted was to be in my bed.

I would deal with the voices in the morning.

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I like this chapter much more than last chapter.

Reviews:

Skye: Lol, maybe you're right.

enchantedlight: Thanks! I'm guessing that this was soon enough.

Abaiisiia: Uh, thanks! I was kind of surprised by the first few words, but happy in the end.

smm: Thank you. I hate how some people make her out as angry, mean, and cruel, so I decided to be different.

Well, I will try to update soon. Thank you for reviewing everyone!

R&R!

---Jojo---


	5. The Deciding Fight

Disclaimer: We've been through this before. I don't own X-Men Evolution.

I had a pounding headache the next day when I woke up around nine. I knew that I should have gotten more sleep the previous night, and I probably would have if that damned Cajun hadn't shown up. Since he decided to drop by, the voices broke free and refused to shut up, keeping me awake for about an hour and half. Hence the enormous lack of sleep.

I dragged myself out of bed and reluctantly dressed, forcing myself to go downstairs to eat. If I wasn't awake by ten, Kitty would come up and make me wake up, and if I refused, she would freak out and start saying that I was sick. That wasn't exactly something that I wanted at the moment, either.

Logan glanced up at me when I entered the kitchen, watching me for a moment. "Ya look tired, Stripes," he commented, turning a page in the paper.

"That's the makeup," was my automatic reply as I rummaged in the cabinets for something to eat.

Logan nodded and turned back to the paper. He probably didn't believe me, but I didn't care at the moment. I just wanted my headache to go away.

I drank my cup of orange juice and left the kitchen, heading for the rec room. What I saw when I got there made my stomach flop. Scott and Jean were sitting on the couch together, and Kurt and Kitty were together. What was going on? People were deciding to get together? I was suddenly reminded of my curse when the obnoxious Pyro voice in my head shouted that I couldn't touch anyone. I'll kill that damn Aussie if it's the last thing I do.

I headed for the foyer, intending to leave and head outside when Professor Xavier caught up to me.

"Ah, Rogue, just the person I've been looking for," he commented, wheeling up to me.

He was looking for me? Why? Did he know about the voices? What was he going to do? _Calm down,_ said a voice. For all I knew, it could be one in the collection I had in my head. But at the moment, I didn't care.

"Rogue, would you like to play a game of chess with me?" he asked.

That threw me off. I mean, what reason would he have to play chess with me? I wasn't known for playing it. Heck, I hardly knew how to play. I'd played a bit a few years ago, but I had forgotten it. I wasn't a challenge for a genius like the professor. "Ah'm not the best, Professor," I admitted a bit awkwardly.

"Then let this be a learning experience for you," he replied with a smile and a mysterious glint in his eye. I couldn't tell what the other look in his eye was. I slowly nodded and he led me to his study where he already had a chess set waiting on a table. A sat down, nervous about how I was going to do. Professor Xavier smiled encouragingly.

"Your move," he said.

I slowly nodded and looked at the chessboard. Suddenly, I heard a small whisper in my ear, it seemed. The quiet voice was telling me what and where to move.

_Trust me,_ it added softly.

I swallowed and reached a shaky hand to move the finely carved chess piece.

The smile disappeared off of Professor Xavier's face and he quickly moved a piece. As the game progressed, the whisper was ever present in my ear, telling me where to move. Soon, I didn't even hear the voice, and I was just moving the pieces with a confidence that I had never known before. Professor Xavier didn't seem to be expecting this. As the game progressed, I began to think ahead, predicting his moves. There was something in his eyes, but I couldn't tell what it was. He soon began predicting mine, and we were countering each other's moves so complexly, that in the beginning, I didn't understand it. But quickly, the logic sunk in, to where I didn't even have to try and figure it out; I automatically knew it. Finally, the professor caught me in a checkmate.

"Good game, Rogue," he commented, extending his hand.

"Thank you, Charles," I replied, shaking his hand.

Professor Xavier froze. "What did you call me?" he asked slowly, his brown eyes searching mine.

My mind seemed to be stuck in neutral. _Oh God,_ I thought. "Professor," I corrected quickly. I was itching to get out from under his intense gaze and figure out what had happened. I couldn't bear for him to scrutinize me. "Ah've…got to go." That was probably one of the most cliché lines I've ever heard, and one of the lamest, but I didn't care. I tore from the room, not caring about what Professor Xavier thought, only to get out of there. I ran out of the Institute. The Professor could find me too easily there. I pushed out of the gate and ran into town, my legs taking me much faster than normal. I didn't know where I was going, nor did I care. I just went where my legs took me.

Where I ended up, I almost couldn't believe. I was right in front of the Brotherhood house. "What the hell is going on!" I wanted to scream.

Suddenly, the front door opened. "What do you want?" Wanda demanded, her fists preparing to fire hex bolts at me. She was watching me with suspicious eyes, waiting for me to make a move.

I didn't need this right now. I couldn't deal with it. So I ran. I turned on my heel and bolted away into the industrial part of Bayville. I needed to get away and find a secluded spot to figure everything out.

I found myself in an alleyway between a pizza parlor and a bookstore. My chest heaved as I caught my breath, afraid of what had happened.

_You weren't afraid when it was happening,_ commented a voice softly.

"I didn't know what was going on_,_" I countered out loud. "I didn't know that you were trying to take over."

_I didn't try; you let me._

I groaned and slammed my fist into the wall, irritated with the voices and myself. "Just leave meh alone!" I groaned.

_I can't do that. What you can do, though, is to let me take over._

A shockwave of fear ripped through me. So that was what was going on! They wanted to take over and leave me an empty shell. No, I couldn't let that happen. I wouldn't. I had to fight: to win. This would be the ultimate test. If I was strong enough, I would win.

_Too bad you feel that way,_ commented the voice. It suddenly struck home: that was Magneto! If he took control…I would end up slaughtering innocent people; people who oppressed mutants. I hated what they did, but I didn't want to hurt them!

Suddenly, I felt a blinding pain in my head. I stumbled backwards, my vision turning white. Another blast of pain struck, followed quickly by another and another. I groaned, trying to find Magneto in my head and confine him. But the more he struck and tried to oppress me, the more elusive he became and the weaker I was.

"Chere? Are y' okay?" asked an accented voice.

I groaned, knowing it was Gambit, the thrice-damned Swamp Rat. Wait, maybe he could help me!

"Chere? Rogue?" he asked. His voice was faint, and I hardly heard him at all. I wanted to scream for him to help me, and for him to be able to help. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't do this.

_Stop thinking that! _cried Kitty's hysteric voice. _You can win!_

But the more I fought and tried to regain control, the more I came to realize that I was going to lose. Finally, it felt like my head was hit with a wrecking ball. The pain exploded in my head, quickly spreading through my body. A moment later, I couldn't feel a thing. My whole body had gone numb.

"Rogue!" Gambit cried.

The rest of the voices in my head screamed my name, while one rang loud and clear, his laughter mocking me. In that instant, I knew that I had lost. Finally, my white vision shifted to black and I was utterly lost as I felt that I had lost consciousness.

* * *

I think I did pretty good on this chapter. How do YOU think I did? Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've started work at Burger King, so I haven't had much time between that and church. And I haven't gotten a good idea for a while. Sorry.

Reviews:

o scorched eggy: yes, we DO have more competition! Wait, lassie? Isn't that the name of a dog? I feel so insulted! jk. Or were you having a lapse into a different language?

Angel of The Fallen Stars: You never know what will happen. Actually, I don't know entirely what will happen either. I have an idea, beginning and end, and I fill in the holes as I go. So maybe they will.

enchantedlight: Remy is awesome!

sassy-diva2004: Thanks!

Ms.Rogue LeBeau: Thanks! Rogue and Remy are made for each other…they just don't like to admit it…

Skye: Lol, that would be funny. Well, tell me what you think of this chapter!

Abaiisiia: Remy's a big boy. He can handle himself…at times.

Jade-eye-death: Thanks!

I'm so happy, I got 8 reviews on this chapter! Thank you all!

R&R!

---Jojo---


	6. I'm WHERE?

Disclaimer: I think that we all know that I don't own X-Men Evolution. But just to be sure, I'll say it again: I don't own X-Men Evolution.

I groaned, and slowly sat up, finding myself in total darkness. I looked down, expecting to see some kind of floor underneath me.

There was nothing. Just…emptiness. I can't even begin to explain how scared I became then. Next thing I knew, I heard questions echoing all around me. MY questions.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Where am I?"

"How did I get here?"

"Where IS here?"

Suddenly, out of the darkness came a figure. Someone I knew.

"Kitty!" I cried, scrambling up and running over.

"Rogue!" she yelled, her reply echoing. She gave me a quick hug and then pulled away, chewing her bottom lip nervously.

"What's goin' on?" I demanded. I was scared. I hated to admit it, but I was. Kitty was here, so maybe she knew. Or if she didn't, at least I would have another person to go through it all with.

"You may think this sounds weird…" she started slowly, glancing at me with worried blue eyes.

I rolled my eyes. "Kitty, there can't be anything weirder than having actual voices in you're head an' knowing that you're not sane. What is it?"

"We're stuck in your head."

"Ah stand corrected."

Kitty sighed, agitated. "Well, you know how you kind of…fainted?" she asked.

I slowly nodded, wondering where all of this was leading to. But Kitty knew, so that was all that mattered.

Kitty glanced away, still chewing her bottom lip. "Well…" she said, as if trying to think of what to say. "Magneto…he kind of…took over."

I couldn't help but stare at Kitty. That couldn't be possible. How could something that technically didn't exist take over? _Kitty's finally cracked,_ I thought. But, then, I heard that sentence echoing all around us. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. She wasn't supposed to hear that.

Kitty laughed. "I haven't cracked. I'm surprised I haven't, seeing as I'm not real. You would think that fact would get to you, but it doesn't. Anyway, it's true. Come one, I'll show you," she said quickly, grabbing my hand and pulling me through the darkness. Suddenly, I found myself surrounded by a ton of other people, all of them looking at one large circle that sat off the ground in the darkness. Through it, I could see tons of people passing by. Loud muttering echoed in the cavern, all of it trying to decide who was a mutant and who wasn't.

"Rogue!" Scott yelled. He walked over, looking more pissed off than I've ever seen him. "How you could let Magneto take over?" he demanded, glaring at me through his red shades.

I snapped. "Ya try having voices in your head, talking nonstop all day, never leaving ya alone! Try t' control them, try t' deal with it! It wears ya out, but ya wouldn't know anything about it! So until you've experienced it, just shut up!"

Silence. Pure, uninterrupted silence. Kind of spooky, in a way, but very much appreciated, nonetheless.

Kitty broke it all. "Rogue, you have to know something. Magneto is in control of your body. That means that he can use his powers as well as yours. He knows everything that you do," she said, biting her lip worriedly.

I groaned, massaging my temples. That couldn't be good. What were we going to do? Suddenly, my eyes widened. If Magneto could use my powers and his, he was going to do something bad. And I was pretty sure I knew what that was.

"He's going to try and kill all non-mutants," I whispered.

Chaos erupted. Mainly, I heard a loud, "WHAT?!" followed by, "HE HAD BETTER USE FIRE!" I ignored the last one, trying to think. What was Magneto doing? He had to have a plan. He wouldn't use his own power. No, he would go in fully armed. But how? Wait. He could use my power. Oh holy shit.

My apprehension and worry showed on my face. Kitty swallowed. "Rogue…? What's going on?" she stammered.

I swallowed. "He's going to steal the powers of everyone else at the Institute," I replied.

"Rogue, do something!" Kurt yelled. "We're stuck in your body!"

I gaped. How could I take control? I had no idea how! I had no idea how this came to be, either. So what the hell was I supposed to do?

"I'll do it!" Scott declared. "I'll take control, and won't let Magneto hurt anyone!"

"This is Rogue's body, let her do it!" yelled a voice. Wanda? Kitty? Jean? Who, I really didn't know. Nor did I care. But people were agreeing, wanting me to take control. To win. To save them, myself, and everyone else outside. No one wanted to be under Magneto's control, not even his disciples. That, I found remarkable. Amazing. And yet, the more people started cheering for me to take control, I could feel the weight starting to rest on my shoulders, as if the fate of the world was all up to me. And in a way, I guess it was. _My_ world's fate was resting in my hands. It was all up to me. And that thought scared me. Yeah, I'm a loner. I grew up that way, and my power makes it a bit easier, I suppose. But I've worked with a team, counting on them to help and watch my back; to support me so that failure is never an option. Now, this was all up to me. I wouldn't have any backup; the voices couldn't do anything. I would be taking on Magneto. The fight would be between him and myself. If they wanted to fight, they would have to fight him separately. No, this was all up to me. This was my body: my fight. I was alone, once again. But this time, I had people counting on me. Being alone is hard enough. But this time, people were counting on me to win. The pressure is almost unimaginable. To know that people's lives, both nonexistent and living, are all resting on your capabilities, almost made me crack. I wanted to rip my hair out. I couldn't do it. Defeat Magneto? Even Professor Xavier had a hard time countering his offensive. And Scott, our leader, made decisions in battle that made things worse, and he's the best we have. How was _I_ supposed to do better? It didn't seem better.

I felt something light resting on my shoulder, and turned around to find Kitty reassuring me with a gentle touch. She had a warm, encouraging smile, and her eyes seemed to know exactly what would happen. They said that I would win. I didn't know if that was trust, hope, or certainty, but at the moment it didn't matter. Kitty had faith in me. That in itself was both reassuring and frightening. I swallowed, trying to quell the feeling in my stomach that I would throw up.

I slowly made my way to the front, passing by everyone in my head, both friends and foes. They all patted my shoulders, giving me words of faith and encouragement. They all looked into my eyes, searching for the assurance that I would not fail. They smiled after staring into my eyes, as if finding what they were searching for. My heart raced, and I could feel energy rushing through me. The apprehension and adrenaline boosted my energy, making me want to get rid of it by jumping up and down. But I couldn't. I would need it in the coming fight; that much I knew.

Finally, I came to stand in front of the window. I swallowed, concentrating. This was my body. I was supposed to be in control. Suddenly, there was a loud echoing in the cavern-place that we were stuck in: my voice, contradicting what Magneto said. For a moment, he didn't know what was going on. Then, he seemed to realize what I was trying to do. That was when I started the attacks. I just concentrated on hurting him, and then next thing I knew, I could feel sharp jabs of pain shooting through me. Apparently, what he felt, I felt. And this guy was old and frail. Or, he was supposed to be. He put up a good fight, trying to strike back. Too bad I did the same thing he did, making my attacks powerful enough to blind him. In doing so, I became as elusive as he.

Vaguely, I could hear cheering around me. People were cheering me on, telling me that what I was doing was right. I felt more pain, and hollow grunts echoed around me. Suddenly, I heard another voice.

"Rogue! What's going on? Are you okay?" It was the actual, real Kitty. We were back at the Institute.

"Stripes! What the hell is going on?" demanded Logan.

My eyes opened to see what was going on. People swam in and out of the window and the screen seemed to warp. But I knew that I was winning the fight, and that was all that mattered. Worried screams echoed from the outside, and triumphant cheers surrounded me inside. I could actually begin to feel everything: the ground underneath my feet, the humidity in the Institute, the blinding pain in every part of my body. And I felt myself falling, finally seeing everything clearly around me for the first time just before I blacked out.

* * *

Hey! I'm back! Sorry for the late update, but I've had work and registering for school, so its been REALLY hectic.

Reviews:

Angle of The Fallen Stars: I shall keep my lips sealed. But you know what happened…

Skye: Thanks! And so now you know!

rage-girl-05: And so you know.

enchantedlight: Let it be known that I tried.

o scorched eggy: dang, I forgot to use that. then again, Jenna kinda used it in her fic. READ IT! Its awesome. Called Inuyasha: The Drama. Check it out!

Maiden Genisis: I TRIED!

Jade-eye-death: Thanks!

Abaiisiia: Thanks! Magneto is a sly person…

Well, I have church soon. I'll update as soon as I can. SPREAD WORD ABOUT MY STORY!

On Reviews, if I could get constructive criticism, it would help A LOT. Thanks!

---Jojo---


	7. I Will Not Lose

Disclaimer: Am currently running through receipts and files, looking for ownership Do I…? No…NOPE! I don't own X-Men Evolution!

My eyes slowly opened, my vision blurry. I slowly turned my head, looking for someone. I could make out Beast talking with the Professor on my right, and Kitty, sitting on a chair. I couldn't see any detail, but I didn't care. All that mattered was that I was in control and that they were there.

That was when I realized that I couldn't feel anything. Not the pillow under my head, any IV's hooked up to my arms, nothing. "Kitty?" I said in a shaky voice.

She didn't move. Nor did the Professor or Beast. My eyes widened and I yelled even more for them, silently begging for them to notice me, to assure me that I had won and was back in control.

They seemed like they didn't hear me. Suddenly, I felt myself falling backwards, the images of Kitty, Beast, and the Professor growing smaller as darkness engulfed me. I screamed for them, reaching out as if they would suddenly reach through the window and grab me, saving me from the unknown. But nothing happened; I just kept falling, tears hanging in the air above me like small, glittering crystals.

Suddenly, I landed on hard ground, groaning as pain wracked my body. I slowly pushed myself up, finding myself on a rocky plain with lightning flashing high up above. I slowly stood, looking around and trying to figure out where the heck I was.

"Rogue," said a cold, slightly agitated voice.

I whipped around, my fists raised defensively. My eyes widened when I saw who it was:

Magneto. He stood before me wearing all black, his icy blue eyes fixed on me with a look of pure hatred. He had been so close to achieving what he wanted. He had had my powers and the ability to take more and become a loaded canon, but I had taken that away from him. He wanted revenge now.

He took a step forward, raising his arm. Suddenly, a magnetic field shoved me backwards into the base of a mountain and holding me there. The field applied more pressure the closer her got, to where my body was actually being pushed into the rock. Jagged edges punctured the skin on my back, pushing farther into my soft tissue. I grunted, not wanting for him to know how much pain I was in. If I screamed, he would know, and I wasn't about to let him know.

"Rogue, Rogue, Rogue. You made such a foolish move, my dear, by trying to take back what I had claimed," he commented.

I ground my teeth together. It took all I had not to scream at him, half out of anger and half out of the immense pain that threatened to escape my body.

"You were wrong to fool with me, girl," he spat, as if every word he spoke tasted foul. "Now, you shall pay the price for your foolish deeds."

It was in that moment that I almost screamed. I almost gave in and admitted defeat in the moment. I would have, too, had I not remembered Kitty's worried face. Kitty: my one true best friend. She wanted me back. That turned the tables and kept me from giving in.

Magneto smiled slightly, the kind of evil smile that villains in cartoons usually wear. "Regretting your decision, Marie?" he asked.

My eyes widened as he said my real name. How the hell did he know that?

He smiled. "Mystique keeps me well informed, Rogue," he explained, as if reading my mind. "She knows very much about you."

I ground my teeth together. That would have to be dealt with later. Now, I had to get the hell out of this trap and kick some ass. Preferably, his.

"You know, Rogue, you would have been an excellent edition to the Brotherhood. Lord knows they need your help. But you would have excelled as a part of the Acolytes, too. Pity you didn't take the opportunity to join a real team," he commented idly, still pressing me into the rock.

That comment made my blood boil. The next thing I knew, I was bursting out of his hold with a strength I never knew I had. I flew forward, punching him straight in the jaw. He flew backwards, taken aback by my attack. I kept pressing forward, never giving him a chance to fight back. Suddenly, he reached up and grabbed my wrist before I could strike him. He glared at me before suddenly punching me in the stomach. I gasped as pain rocked my torso and I doubled over. And he didn't stop there. He kneed me in the face, and the pain literally exploded, causing my eyes to tear. I couldn't see. How could I defend myself?

Apparently, I couldn't. Magneto didn't let down his attack as he slammed his ringed fist into my left temple and then smashed his elbow into the top of my head, sending me flying into the ground. I groaned, starting to stand up when he pressed one foot onto my back, holding me in place and pushing me farther into the jagged rocks beneath me. My body screamed with pain, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that the red on my clothes was blood. He suddenly leaned down, putting more pressure on my back. His breathing was ragged as he panted for breath.

"Now, you'll die," he whispered in a hoarse voice.

My eyes widened. Could he do that? Kill me internally? Mentally? Yes, he probably could. I didn't want to try and figure it out at the moment, though. I needed a plan.

Suddenly, I could feel a small magnetic field focusing on my back from my shoulders to my ribs. I was slowly being pressed into the ground, and at the same time, he was applying pressure to my heart and lungs. I was definitely going to die if I didn't do something then.

I slowly reached back and grasped his ankle, my breath now coming up short. I didn't have much longer. "Go…to…hell," I whispered as I used almost all of my remaining strength to pull his leg out from underneath him and turn over. The magnetic field disappeared as Magneto fell onto the hard ground. I scrambled up and pinned him with my knees. I did the only thing I could think of: I grabbed his head between my two hands. If he still had his power, then so did I.

In an instant, I felt the rush of energy flowing through me: his energy. And then the searing pain came, spreading from the tips of my hands up through my arms and to the rest of my body. Magneto and I were both screaming, and he was trying to get my hands off. I didn't let him; I wouldn't let go. I was _not_ going to lose after this. There was no way. I wanted him gone. I wanted him out of my body. Tears sprang to my eyes as I became desperate to hang on and the pain became that of a raging fire inside me, burning every part of my body. Suddenly, Magneto's hands became limp, and my screams quickly overshadowed his as he slowly stopped. Soon, I was the only one screaming as the pain still raged inside me. I slowly pulled my hands away. Tears were streaming down my face in pain and joy. I had won.

I slowly fell on my side, my arms frozen in the position they had been when holding Magneto's head. Slowly, my body went numb, and I fell into sleep, thankful that it was finally over. I had finally defeated Magneto. I could go on. But first, I needed a lot of rest.

* * *

Hey! Another update so soon! Wow!

Reviews:

giggleboxsam: Wow! Thanks! That's the first time I've heard any of that.

Jade-eye-death: That was kind of part of the plot, to keep people reading. And you'll know by next chapter. But you can always guess…

Skye: You'll find out next chapter.

enchantedlight: down with Magneto forever!

Maiden Genisis: I updated a lot sooner than usual! I feel proud!

Thank you all for the reviews! Please, R&R!

---Jojo---


	8. Explanations

Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men Evolution. Fact is, I don't own much at the moment.

Feeling came back first. I could feel the cushiony bed beneath me, the thin layer of sheets over my body. I opened my eyes, they began to throb when I spotted the same bright light above me. I'd have to fix that later.

I slowly turned my head, wincing in pain. My neck was sore, and so was the rest of my body, I knew. I could only guess that it was from the strenuous fight with Magneto. Why it affected me physically, I could only guess. I'd find out later.

Sitting beside my bed was Kitty, her eyes red. I knew she had been crying. I couldn't help but want to weep myself. She really did care, and looked as if she hadn't moved at all since when I had last seen her. I could feel tears start to push their way forward to the front of my eyes. Kitty…she had wanted me back so badly. And her presence in my mind had been so confident that I would win. She wanted me to. I didn't want to admit it, but Kitty was someone who had managed to become close to me, "The Ice Queen," and not be hurt. That was almost like the ultimate lesson, or whatever you want to call it. To me, that was the definitive testament that obstacles can be overcome. Hell, my whole ordeal was.

Kitty suddenly seemed to notice that I was awake. She gasped, her blue eyes sparkling in awe. "Rogue!" she practically screamed. "You're awake!" She suddenly leapt forward as I slowly pushed myself up and threw her arms around my neck, tears streaming down her cheeks.

My instinct was to shove her away and chew her out for endangering herself, but I didn't. She was touching no part of my skin. Slowly, I hugged her back, ecstatic just to be back and in control.

"She's awake! Everyone, she's awake! Come here and see!" Kitty cried.

Suddenly, shouts echoed through the hallway, followed by a stampede of footsteps, which took the shapes of students from the Institute. Everyone shoved their way inside, all cheering for my recovery. Scott, Jean, Kurt, Logan, and the Professor made their way to the front.

"Rogue! You're back!" Kurt cried, jumping on to my bed and hugging me briefly. Kitty let go and stepped back, still silently crying for joy.

"Thank god you're back, Rogue," Jean said with a smile.

As much as I didn't like Jean, it was still nice to know that she had been worried. I smiled and thanked her when Scott shoved past some students to my bedside.

"Rogue, what happened?" he demanded.

Everyone seemed to become silent. That was the question I didn't want to hear. How was I going to answer that without sounding like a loon? Would anyone believe me? I decided to take the easy way out.

"Ah'll explain it later. Ah'm still tired," I explained. It wasn't a lie, either, which I was really proud of. For the first time in a long time, I hadn't needed to lie to cover up what was going on. This time, I knew that I had to reveal exactly what was wrong.

Scott nodded. I knew he would hold me to my word, but I didn't care. He cared. My old crush cared. And that, for some reason, gave me a huge feeling of satisfaction.

"Are you feeling better, Rogue?" Beast asked, hanging from a metal beam above. The beams were probably installed especially for him. The Professor thinks of everything.

I nodded.

Professor Xavier turned around and ushered the students out, telling them all that I needed my rest. I couldn't argue, either, because it was true. I was still drained from the ordeal.

Kitty managed to stay behind while Beast and the Professor left. The door shut and Kitty deemed it safe to talk.

"Rogue, I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered. "You just started shaking all of a sudden. Kind of like you were having a seizure or something." She shuddered. "We were all scared. Beast didn't know what to do, and the Professor didn't either. He tried going into your mind at one point, but he looked like he'd been shot when he finished. None of us knew what to do. We were all scared we would lose you," she choked.

My gaze softened. "Ah'm not leaving, Kitty. It'll take everything th' Devil's got to take me. And even then, he'll have a hard time doing that," I said.

Kitty smiled. "The Devil wouldn't take you," she commented. "God would."

I smiled.

Kitty moved to hug me again, but I held up my hands. "You were lucky, Kitty, that you didn't touch me the first tahme. Let's be safe again," I pleaded.

Kitty smiled. "Alright," she agreed. "Good night, Rogue." And with that, Kitty left.

I slowly leaned back on my pillow, thankful for some rest and for the care that my friends showed me.

* * *

The next day, I was wheeled into Professor Xavier's study. I had protested, arguing with Beast that I was perfectly fine and could walk on my own. But do you really think he listened? Noooooo.

Everyone was gathered in the study waiting for me: for an explanation. I swallowed. They would think I was nuts. I didn't want to do this anymore. I could keep this whole thing a secret; no one needed to know. This time, I would be stronger. No rebellions would happen. I would always be in control. My palms started to sweat with my newfound panic, and I felt as if everyone were scrutinizing me then. I needed to get out, fast.

"Rogue," said the professor's voice in my mind. "Tell us what happened."

I swallowed. I didn't want to, but I knew that my chances of getting out were nil. I was tired of lying to those who really cared about me, too. So I made a quick decision.

"Ya're all wonderin' why what happened…happened," I began awkwardly. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I continued.

"There's a side effect to mah powers. When Ah touch someone, I absorb part of them. But, it doesn't go away. That part stays with meh in mah head. So, I have people in mah head. It sounds crazy," I quickly added, "but it's true. Ah touched Magneto once, and part of him stayed with meh. He took over control of mah body. When "Ah" collapsed, I was fightin' him for control. In the infirmary, I was fightin' him there, too."

Dead silence. _Shit,_ I thought. _They think I'm nuts. Time to pack for the loony bin._

The Professor nodded. "I had suspected that you had entities in your head, Rogue, but I was never sure," he replied. "When I invited you to play chess with me, it was to confirm my suspicions. You see, only Magneto had ever played me like that. Since you played like him, I was almost positive that he was helping you. He can't resist the temptation of a game of chess."

My jaw dropped. "Then why didn't ya try t' help meh?" I demanded. It didn't make any sense. Wasn't this guy supposed to help me? If he was, then he should have tried! I almost couldn't bear to look at him, the traitor.

"You ran out before I could stop you," he explained. "We received a call from Gambit just as Logan was going to head out and search for you. He said that you were coming back, but you seemed different. He was right. We could tell that something was wrong. You just fell to the floor when you came in and started groaning and sweating. It was then that I knew that something was wrong."

Kitty took up the slack. "You remember what I told you earlier: he couldn't get into your mind. We tried, Rogue, but in the end, it was up to you."

That's when it hit me: it always _had_ been up to me. I had been relying on people to reach out and save me, when only I could save myself. I had been wandering in the dark, hoping that someone would appear and show me the light when it had been staring blindly into my face the whole time without my realizing it.

Sometimes, you just have to look a little harder to find what you're looking for.

* * *

I'M BACK! By now, most of you probably want to shoot me since I took so long updating, and I'm sorry. I've just had so much homework every night, band practices Thursday nights and Friday mornings, Wednesday church, and work most Mondays, Fridays, and Saturdays. I'm sorry this wasn't up sooner!

Reviews:

enchantedlight: sorry it wasn't sooner!!!

Jade-eye-death: WRITE IT! I won't steal the idea! Even though its really good…

Maiden Genisis: THANK YOU!

Ally: COMPUTERS ARE EVIL at times. Mine messes up so much…

giggleboxsam: you never know…

lil badass: thanks!

SEE YOU ALL LATER!

---Jojo---


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